Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Randomize
