I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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