my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
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