i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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