In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
