i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I smell like Dick and happiness
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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