I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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