best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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