O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
