dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
