Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I think I am morally bankrupt
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
