i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
