Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
