I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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