Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
