too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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