what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Randomize
