Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
