honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
