ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
