I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
