dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
