a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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