do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
