Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
