How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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