Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
