Whod you bang
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Randomize
