For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
