i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
