Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
