He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Randomize
