I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
God I need to hump something, right now.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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