Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
