Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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