Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
