Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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