I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
