shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
