Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
