he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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