Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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