Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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