She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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