So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Is it because I queefed?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
