I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
