not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
