You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
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