She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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