Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
